so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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