I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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