had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
