are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
