I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
