Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I got inside last night via doggy door
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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