I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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