My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
