you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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