I just cut my nipple shaving
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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