at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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