Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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