Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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