White coat. Heels.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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