Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize