just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
