i think my tv is drunk
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
