is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
