I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize