i would punch a child for taco bell
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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