And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize