Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
