soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I forgot how hot balto sounded
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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