i permit you to call me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
