Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
