what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
