Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
