oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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