The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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