I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Randomize
