farters have to be the big spoon...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
