I cannot find my penis.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
