i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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