i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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