May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
