went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
