You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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