She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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