there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
