can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize