I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
