god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
