i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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