This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
