if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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