I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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