who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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