got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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