This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
