God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
