No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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