and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
