people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize