Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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