How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
